I learned several things during this time, which totally stirred my heart to worship of my Savior...
- Apparently, I really shouldn’t have kids (maybe “shouldn’t” isn’t the right word, but it is dangerous for the baby). The fact is, that Avery being healthy, full term, etc was a miracle. The fact Grant survived and grew to a healthy size for a 31 weeker was a miracle. The presentation on Grant (breech, premature, etc) is what should have happened for Avery.
- If my uterus was still normal size (smaller) with a wall, it’s likely my babies may not have even made it to 31 weeks. It is GOOD for it to be larger since I have such pronounced wall. The OB told me there are a lot of complications that can occur and did not advise more children.
- This all took place as I was being formed in MY mother's tummy.... My uterus and renal system developed at the same time and something went astray at that point. It dawned on me... God’s plan for Grant (the thing that drew me closest to Him so far) started as I (ME!!!) was being formed.
God had specifically designed me for this to occur, to carry out His best for me. When you look at this from the surface, it doesn’t seem all that good, but I know it was BEST. The opportunity to be carried through difficult times is BEST. It makes dependency on Him. It made me understand His mercy more.
The truth is, God LOVED us enough to carry us through difficult times and HIS plan protected our children, brought reconciliation within our family, and continues to bring Glory to HIM! My plans would have paled in comparison. As I think through this, it all becomes a bit overwhelming. This is just my story.. and to think with each and every one of us, we have a story and He does have a plan that is His best for us. The verse from Jeremiah, finally has sunk in...
“I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11